I’m hungry, a hunger that consumes me, that doesn’t leave me alone, every step I take I do think of satisfying it. Every time I try to look away from that appetizing banquet it’s as if the fury of my own weakness lashes me.
I can’t stop seeing, smelling, tasting, biting. I want to use my hands to devour everything that is served there for me. Whenever I get it all, it’s not enough and I want more. There are no valid reasons that make me give up, much less share.
I feel that this is my purpose, that this is why I have come this far. I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to belong to anything.
There is no love or pain, each day is exactly the same as the previous one, there is no hour in which I do not want to sink my fingers into the meat or run my tongue over the plate. I don’t need manners, I want to get dirty, I want to get dirty completely, lick my fingers without shame, I don’t need anyone to tell me that what I do is shameful, I know it and I enjoy it.
It’s hard to remember the last time I felt remorse, and I don’t want to either; The only thing that moves me is the desire to try again, that irrepressible desire to immerse myself in the sensations. There is no better tool to eat than my own hands.
You are my banquet and I want to sink my teeth into you, from you I want to stain my clothes and dirty my hands, I do not want anything clean, I want the lowest, what hurts me the most, what the next day makes me feel guilty because I want you again, I am not satisfied by having your taste in my mouth, I am not pleased to know that I am full, I always want more.
J.D.R 24/10/2011